Learning to read

Do you remember the books you read in first grade?

I sure do. And I fondly recall spelling tests, recess, flavored milk, and a girl name Lynne. I still drink flavored milk, but my wife tells me a recess with Lynne today is unacceptable.

The best part of school was the “Dick and Jane” stories that taught us to read.

If you grew up in the 1950’s through the 1970’s, you may remember Dick and Jane. I’m not sure they had a last name, which would make them quite trendy today. They lived in a little house somewhere in America…we just didn’t know where.

They had a puppy called Spot, and a cat named Puff. (I once had a girlfriend named Puff, but that’s another story.)

One of the books’ writers – Sterl Artley -- died in 1998. A famous reading teacher, Sterl began his stories with basic words, gradually building vocabulary.

It’s hard to find these readers today. I guess a few educators chose different teaching methods, for reasons unknown to me or my friends, many of whom read quite well.

Sadly, there will be no new Dick and Jane adventures for future generations. Oh my, oh my. Did someone say, “Baby Boomers getting older?”

Goodbye, Dick, Goodbye, Jane. Goodbye, childhood.

Hello, Arthur Ritis.

BUSINESS BIOGRAPHY – Would you like for Rix to write the history of your company? Just call him at 817-920-7999, or e-mail him at rix@rixquinn.com.

Glowing report on fireflies

What, exactly, makes fireflies so appealing?

A guy once told me he figured fireflies and mosquitoes work together. When folks are trying to chase elusive fireflies, the mosquitoes take advantage of this to suck their blood.

I agree that fireflies and mosquitoes probably cooperate. I don’t know what the firefly gets, but the mosquito wins a meal with mood lighting.

Fireflies – also called “lightning bugs” – are actually beetles. Their flickering glow comes from luciferin, a chemical their bodies produce. It reacts with oxygen and – presto! – critter glitter.

A few humans glow in the dark, too. We suspect they are visitors from another galaxy, fluorescent paint salesmen, or recent guests at Aunt Bessie’s Radiation Ranch.

Researchers claim fireflies are attracted by sight. Females flash their torches to alert guys, who approach them with that stupid line, “Hey, you seem very bright.”

Experts say fireflies spend their days eating, and their evenings transmitting messages to each other. I guess they probably send simple messages, because they have the I.Q. of turnips. .

In ancient times, travelers put a bunch of fireflies in a bottle, and used them as lanterns. But during the sweltering day, these tourists sometimes forgot the flies, and filled their bottles with drinking water.

And that’s how we got the term “floodlight.”